Tiger Tom's "Pray for our Troops Index"
When I, Tiger Tom, saw that the invasion of Iraq was
over and, as the Great Man said, the mission had been accomplished, but that
pickups and houses all over Texas still had big "Pray for our Troops"
signs in their windows, I realized the need for a system to focus prayer
appropriately. Something like the government's Terror Alert system.
Praying for the troops is good, but it must be kept in perspective.
Therefore, I offer the plan below.
Just as the national Terror Alert system is designed to
prevent undue panic yet to alert the public to a need for caution, my
Tiger Tom Pray for
our Troops Alert is fashioned to keep us praying hard for our boys when
there is a real need but to focus the Supreme One's attention on other worthy projects
at times when His total attention is not needed for protecting our troops.
In a word, it is an effort to discourage the praying public from wasting
The Almighty's time on the protection of only slightly endangered soldiers
when His divine attention ought to be directed toward
more pressing issues that affect Americans--like the decline in consumer
confidence and the pursuit of evil-doers in other areas. And the salvation of lost
sinners. Don't forget the lost sinners. They often get neglected in
time of war.
Tiger Tom's Pray For Our Troops Index
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Code Red
Fervent Prayer
for our actual combat troops is now necessary. Devote 100% of actual
prayer time to troops in the actual combat zone. Much wailing
is desirable. Gnashing of teeth recommended. Do not pray
at this time for support staff or journalists. Especially, do not
pray for Dick Cheney. He is far out of
harm's way.
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Code Purple
Troops in
significant danger from suicide bombers and other miscreants but not
necessarily in peril from constantly whizzing bullets. Devote 75% of
prayer time to troops, the remaining 25% to the stock market and the
price of crude.
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Code Brown
Intermittent but
not grave danger. Devote 50% of prayers to troops, 50% to other
worthy causes. At least 6% of prayers can now be devoted to
aid workers in combat zones.
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Code Green
Troops only in
slight danger, mainly from "friendly fire" resulting from fights
with drunk American soldiers. Devote only 25% of prayer to our
boys. Prayer recipient list can now be expanded to include imbedded
but not free-lance journalists. A good rule of thumb is to
pray only for journalists who appear on TV dressed up like American soldiers.
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Code Blue
Everything is
back to normal. The troops are still in Iraq, but you don't have to
pray for them if their main danger is an occasional sniper attack,
stepping on a mine, or getting cancer from
exposure to American weaponry.
You can now go
back to praying for the usual stuff--getting a better job, winning
the lottery, helping your family and friends--with an occasional mention of "our boys in
uniform" at mealtime or as a PS in other public prayers. |
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