Science Marches On: ICD+, the Very Latest in Vacuous Nonsense

by Gazette Senior Editor Hardly Waite

 

    If you're no longer shocked by the sight and sound of normally normal people talking loudly and,  some would say,  rudely into cell phones in restaurants and theatre lines, you'll soon get to stare in wonderment at people speaking solemn imperatives into their jacket collars. 

    That's the way a new gadget called ICD+ is supposed to work.  A joint project of Philips Electronics and Levi Strauss, the ICD+ is a windbreaker-style jacket that will cost about $900.  It will convert its wearer into a virtual walking MP3 player/cell phone controlled by a voice-activated speak-into-the-collar feature. The makers enthusiastically call the jacket one's "personal area network."  Soon you'll be able to retrieve stored phone messages by voice command or even become a walking boom box by solemnly saying into your collar, "Play Lady Gaga."

    This may be the first big hit in electronic clothing. We had already heard rumors of the electronic sports bra that  monitors heart rate. The Gazette predicts we will eventually need eyeglasses that sound a warning beep when light is insufficient for reading and undergarments to advise us when we're sexually aroused.  I can hardly wait!

 

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